As most everyone knows, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are conducting "dueling" rallies in Washington, D.C., on October 30.
Stewart's rally is being called a "Rally to Restore Sanity," in which he is positioning himself as a voice of reason with a call to reign in the political extremes. In his announcement of the rally, he showed clips of both conservatives and liberals saying things that, in Stewart's opinion, were extreme. At least one of the mottoes he has used to promote the rally is "Let's take it down a notch for America." He's also referred to it as a "million moderate march."
Colbert's rally is to "Keep Fear Alive," but since he is being ironic in his satirical approach to humor, he's actually rallying against fear, making the rally fall into the same message as Stewart's.
It's a laudable goal - to return reason and rational discussion to the American political discourse. I wouldn't deny for a second that our political stage has become ridiculously overheated in the last couple of years.
The problem I have is one of false equivalences. Maybe Stewart is just conceding the idea that the left is just as ridiculously over-the-top as the right so that he can move beyond that argument. I understand that. On the other hand, false equivalences between crazy people on the left and crazy people on the right is one of the reasons why the extremes have been taking the stage more. Let me illustrate:
Person 1: One plus one equals two.
Person 2: No! The liberal lie that one plus one equals two is a conspiracy designed to process our euthanized grandparents into meals-ready-to-eat for Mexican illegal immigrant Muslim atheist terrorists bent on imposing gay marriages. The TRUTH, as revealed by God through our Founding Fathers, is that one plus one equals FOUR!
Person 1: I think you're mistaken. There is a great deal of evidence to back up my claim that one plus one equals two. Mathematicians have confirmed this, as well as pre-school children everywhere.
Person 2: You're a socialist fascist communist, aren't you?! Anyone who says that one plus one doesn't equal four doesn't appreciate the sanctity of life. And they're against the death penalty.
Person 1: What? Um, no. Look, I'll show you. If you have one horse, and then you get another horse-
Person 2: What kind of horse?
Person 1: What?
Person 2: Is it an Arabian horse?
Person 1: It doesn't matter.
Person 2: Well, it damn well matters to me! I don't want no damn Islamist horse, let alone two of them!
Person 1: Fine, it's a Kentucky quarter horse. Now if you have one of them, and you get one more, how many Kentucky quarter horses do you have?
Person 2: One half.
Person 1: What?
Person 2: One-quarter plus one-quarter equals one half.
Person 1: Oh, well, that's not what I meant.
Person 2: Well, that's what you said.
Person 1: Listen, forget horses. Let's say you have a stone. If you get another stone, how many stones do you have?
Person 2: Why am I collecting stones? Are you going to force me under sharia law to stone my grandmother to death for being an adulterer?!
Person 1: What? No! I just-
Person 2: Listen, I've had enough of this. Do you admit the revealed holy truth that one plus one is four, or are you going to require me to take over the government and impose Christian math on the entire populous?
Person 1: What?! No! You can't do that!
Person 2: Admit that one plus one is four or I'm going to do it!
Person 1: What if I compromise?!
Person 2: Like what?
Person 1: How about... one plus one equals three?
Person 2: Well, okay, I guess I can allow that... for now. Congratulations, liberal, you win again.
Person 1: Yeah... I win. ::sob::
See what happened there? We live in a culture that thrives on compromise. Agreement and consensus isn't possible, so instead we split the difference. In such a system, the more outrageous, the more extreme, the more ridiculous one side is, the more likely they are to get a compromise closer to what they actually want.
This is what's happening in America. The TEA Party rallies call for a reduction in spending without saying what exactly they want cut. They want taxes to be cut without saying what taxes on whom. Their math doesn't add up - one plus one does not equal four. Splitting the difference won't get us the right answer.
If the left were just as outrageous - saying that one plus one equals one, then we could come to a compromise that's actually correct. The problem comes when one side is crazier than the other, and that is clearly the case here. This isn't to say that there aren't crazy extremists on the left; of course there are. However, to say that the right, in general, is no more crazy than the left, in general, is a false equivalence.
Here's another difference. Other than Alan Grayson, no one in a position of authority on the left says that Republicans want Americans to die. On the right, many, many conservatives have said that Democrats want to kill people. It started with Sarah Palin's ridiculous and false claim that the original health care bill included provisions for Death Panels that would make cold, calculated decisions on who would live and who would be euthanized, and it was repeated ad nauseum at town hall meetings all across the country. They have said that our two newest Supreme Court Justices want to impose Sharia law on America. They tell us that the rich will create more jobs if we keep their taxes low (because it's worked so well up till now!) and that global warming is a myth even as we watch the ice caps melt. They tell us that the real victim of the Deep Water Horizon disaster is British Petroleum.
They tell us it's raining. That's not rain.
Both sides have made extreme statements. The problem is that the left's extreme statements happen to be true while the right's are made up.
I understand what you're trying to do, Jon and Stephen, and I appreciate it. Unfortunately, one plus one equals three is just as wrong as one plus one equals four.
If you want to read a blog from someone who said this better than me, try this one.